Doing your own Texas divorce: when it works and when it backfires

Yes, you can, and here is who it usually works for

Yes. Texas does not require you to hire a lawyer to file for divorce or to respond to one, and the state's legal aid site, TexasLawHelp.org, publishes free forms and step-by-step guides for agreed divorces. A do-it-yourself divorce tends to work for a short marriage with no children, no house, no retirement accounts of any size, no business and no real disagreement. As soon as children, significant property or conflict enter the picture, the risk of an expensive mistake rises quickly.

I am a family law attorney at Webb Family Law in downtown Dallas, Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. A real part of my work is cleaning up problems from divorces that were done without advice: decrees that left out a retirement account, orders too vague to enforce, and agreements signed without understanding what was given up. This guide is meant to help you decide honestly. It is general information, not legal advice; if you are unsure, a single consultation with a licensed Texas family law attorney can tell you a great deal.

What the free Texas forms are designed for

The TexasLawHelp.org forms are built for straightforward cases. Its guides describe three ways a divorce can be finished: an agreed divorce, where both spouses agree on every issue and both sign the papers; a default divorce, where one spouse is served and does not file an answer; and a contested divorce, where the spouses disagree and the case needs a contested final hearing. The site notes that if your spouse files an answer, you cannot finish the divorce by default, and that in a contested case you must give your spouse at least 45 days' notice of the final hearing.

Everyone also has to meet the basics. One spouse must have lived in Texas for at least the last six months and in the county where the case is filed for at least the last 90 days, and in almost all cases the court cannot finish the divorce until at least 60 days after filing. I walk through those stages in my guide on how long a Texas divorce takes, from petition to decree.

The situations where TexasLawHelp itself says to talk to a lawyer

The most useful thing about the TexasLawHelp.org divorce guides is that they are candid about their limits. They say it is really important to talk with a family law lawyer in several situations, and I agree with every one of them.

• Your case is contested
• Your spouse has a lawyer
• You need spousal maintenance
• You are afraid for your safety or your children's safety
• You or your spouse have a house, retirement, a business, other valuable property or a lot of debt

Where do-it-yourself divorces usually go wrong

Retirement accounts are the most common problem I see. TexasLawHelp.org explains that contributions made during the marriage are community property regardless of whose name is on the account, and that dividing most retirement plans requires a separate court order called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO. A decree that says the account is split, without a proper order the plan will accept, may leave the receiving spouse without a way to collect, or create tax problems for both of you.

The house is the second. A decree can award the house to one spouse, but the mortgage stays in both names unless it is refinanced, and the spouse who moved out can remain liable for a loan on a house they no longer own. The decree needs to address deadlines, refinancing, what happens if the refinance fails and who pays in the meantime.

The third is the children. A schedule that works for two cooperative parents today may be unenforceable when one of them remarries or moves, because it relies on agreement instead of specific terms. Vague phrases like reasonable visitation can leave a parent with nothing to enforce. The fourth is separate property: an inheritance or a premarital asset that is not identified and proved can end up treated as community property, which I explain in my guide on why a Texas divorce is not always a 50/50 split.

Debt deserves its own warning. A decree can assign a joint credit card or a car loan to one spouse, but the lender was not a party to your divorce and can still pursue whoever signed the original agreement. If your former spouse stops paying a debt the decree assigned to them, your credit can suffer and your remedy is to go back to court. A careful decree reduces that risk with deadlines to refinance or pay off joint debts, and with clear terms for what happens if those deadlines are missed.

A quick self-check before you download anything

Answer these honestly. If every answer is no, a do-it-yourself divorce may be reasonable for you, although I still recommend having a lawyer review the final paperwork. If any answer is yes, at least get advice before you sign.

• Do you have children under 18 together?
• Does either of you own a home, rental property or land?
• Does either of you have a 401(k), pension, IRA or stock options?
• Does either of you own all or part of a business or professional practice?
• Did either of you bring significant assets into the marriage or inherit anything during it?
• Does either of you want or need spousal maintenance?
• Is there any history of violence, intimidation or hidden money?
• Has your spouse hired a lawyer or refused to sign?

The middle ground: paying for part of the work

Hiring a lawyer is not all or nothing. TexasLawHelp.org mentions limited scope representation, in which a lawyer handles only part of a case. In practice that might mean a consultation to understand your rights before you negotiate, a review of an agreement your spouse's lawyer drafted, or drafting the final decree and any retirement orders while you handle the rest. For many couples with a modest but real estate, that targeted help is where most of the protection comes from.

Mediation is another middle path. A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse reach agreement, and lawyers can advise each of you before and after the session. I am a certified mediator and a former President of Collaborative Law Dallas, and I have seen how much a well-prepared mediation can resolve without a courtroom.

The value of that early advice is that it changes how you negotiate. A spouse who knows which assets are community, roughly what the retirement accounts and the house are worth, and what a court would likely do with the children's schedule negotiates from a position of understanding rather than guesswork. Many people discover they were about to give up more than they realized, or that the issue they were most worried about is not really in dispute.

If you go it alone, do these things

If your situation truly is simple and you decide to proceed on your own, a few habits protect you. Use the official forms rather than generic templates from out-of-state websites, because Texas has its own procedures and terms. Read every page before you sign. Make sure the decree lists every asset and debt and says who gets each one. Keep copies of everything you file and everything the court signs.

Do not rely on court staff for legal advice; clerks can explain procedures, but they cannot tell you what to put in your agreement. Do not skip the details on the house and any vehicles, including who refinances and by when. And when the judge signs the final decree, follow the instructions on getting it filed, because the guides note that the divorce is not final until that is done.

• Use the Texas forms that match your situation, with or without children
• List every asset and debt in the decree, by name
• Address the mortgage, car loans and credit cards specifically
• Keep a complete copy of the signed decree in a safe place
• Update beneficiary designations, insurance and your estate plan afterward

Signs you should stop and get a lawyer mid-stream

Plenty of people start a divorce on their own and realize partway through that it is not simple after all. Stop and get advice if your spouse hires a lawyer, stops responding, refuses to sign or suddenly changes the deal. The same goes if you discover accounts you did not know about, if money starts moving out of joint accounts, or if your spouse proposes a value for a business or a house that you cannot evaluate. In a case with a closely held company, my guide on how a business is valued and divided in a Texas divorce shows how much analysis can sit behind one number.

It is far easier to fix a problem before the decree is signed than after. Once a final decree is entered, the property division is generally not reopened, and correcting a mistake can be difficult or impossible.

Getting a second opinion before you sign

If you are close to an agreement and want to know whether it protects you, a focused review is often the most cost-effective legal help you can buy. At Webb Family Law we offer confidential consultations by appointment at our office in Republic Center, and we represent clients across Dallas and throughout Texas. Bring the draft agreement, a list of assets and debts, and your questions, and I will tell you plainly what I see, including whether the paperwork you have is enough.

If you would like help choosing between lawyers, my list of questions to ask before hiring a divorce lawyer is a good place to start.

Questions people ask me